Earnest Supplication: Higher Education, Travel, Art, and African History

It is often difficult to place myself. I spend a lot of my life fighting negative thinking and low-self esteem. I am a mixed-race African-American woman and so I spend much of my time feeling isolated.

I have chosen the career path of a medical doctor, so naturally, I am isolated to my study space, studying and praying for acceptance to medical school. I am not as enthusiastic about this path as I once was. It comes with many responsibilities and a weight that I can hardly manage.

I often feel confused about my place in life, like many days I am fighting to be valid or valuable in a world that often devalues me and my contribution.

I feel I am often working 2-3 times harder than I should have to for less. I often feel taken for granted.

Yet, I know that I am always punching above my weight. I am consistent in my efforts to advance and I am working harder than most for less.

So, it is unfortunate, but I have to grit my teeth, even when I want to give up on everything. Even when I am disappointed by all those around me. Even when I am unrecognized and invisible. Even when I am disrespected and degraded.

Ashley Chandrashekhar